I have been involved in organized sports since entry level Little League. I have played or coached at many levels, and in many sports, for the last approximately 50 years. However, it is only recently that I became aware of what a bastion is amateur sports for male socialization of disrespect for women. What was seen as harmless male humor takes on an entirey different and sinister context when it serves as the breeding ground for domestic abuse.

None of us would knowingly and calculatedly commit crimes or train others, especially children, to commit crimes. However, when we engage in certain behaviors or fail to object to behaviors which encourage domestic violence, then we are committing crimes or training others, even children, to commit crimes. I know that I have been on the playing fields many times when disrespectful comments were made about women in general or particular women or girls. I am sad to say that even though I an not a "bad guy", I did not appropriately address those comments or behaviors.

As an attorney, I have represented young athletes who had "crossed the line" and engaged in inappropriate behavior with young girls. These were not "bad kids". They were confused. Confused by the mixed signals that they got from coaches and from their peers. My experience indicates the most often instances of young athlete involvement in inappropriate sexual behavior with young girls typically are not committed without the encouragement, if not actual participation, of some their teammates.

For this reason, I include in this website, links to resources for coaches and every male athlete to begin an introspective examination of our own thought patterns, and the thought patterns that we instill in other males, of all ages; thought patterns which lessen us as men; and thought patterns of which each of us should say, "We are "better" than this."

We can do much as coaches, as mentors and as teammates to recognize in ourselves as well as in others thought patterns and expressions which foster injustice, not only "in the moment" but also contribute to the development of our "brothers" into committing injustice throughout a lifetime.

Here is the approach (from the MVP program) that I support for coaches and athletes:

The Bystander Approach to Prevention

Utilizing a unique bystander approach to prevention, the MVP Program views student-athletes and student leaders not as potential perpetrators or victims, but as empowered bystanders who can confront abusive peers. This emphasis reduces the defensiveness men often feel and the helplessness women often feel when discussing issues of men's violence against women. Participants in MVP sessions learn to serve as role models working to prevent this violence. The MVP approach does not involve finger pointing, nor does it blame participants for the widespread problem of gender violence. Instead, it sounds a positive call for proactive, preventive behavior and leadership.


Want more information? Talk to Dave or send us an e-mail. We have pamphlets, a DVD and a CD.

Contact David

Links:
Coaches Corner


A Call to Men

MVP Program

Download the "Coaches Playbook" (.pdf file)